May 19, 2018
The baby weight loves me.
Today marks the end of Week 2 of my quest to lose the freakin’ baby weight….again. Let’s just say - It. Did. Not. Go. Well. I was proud of myself at the end of Week 1. I had managed to work in 3 full workouts and a couple of 2 mile walks to the park. I was eating a little healthier. Granted, I had plenty of room for improvement in the diet but I was making baby steps. It’s not like I’m expecting to drop 20 pounds in a week. (Wouldn’t that be sweet?) But my confidence was already rising. I was going to do this! It was going to be a breeze! Why hadn’t I started this earlier? My plan was genius!
Enter Week 2. My infant, who is almost 4 months old, has started teething. The drooling. The chewing. The fussiness. The crying. The screaming. My goodness, the screaming. I had roughly two weeks of her sleeping through the night. I mean, the ENTIRE night. 9pm until 6am. It was heaven. My two-year-old still doesn’t do that. But no more. Teething has ruined that. At first, rubbing lavender on her jawline was working. It calmed her, eased her pain, and she would fall asleep. Now it seems to calm her but she’s still fussy and you can tell her gums hurt. She is a strictly breastfed baby. She won’t take a bottle but nursing on the right side seems to be a struggle for her now, which means it’s painful for both of us. She primarily just wants to be held. I can’t blame her. Isn’t that what everyone wants when they’re hurting? To be held. To be loved. To be told it’s going to be okay, it’s going to be better soon.
Unfortunately, holding and soothing the infant makes the toddler very jealous. And before you know it, I have a screaming infant and a screaming toddler. If the toddler is not crying then she’s laughing as loud as humanly possible, anything to get Momma’s attention. Her need to “snuggle Momma” is insatiable. She’s becoming more independent every day and yet, if she sees me focused on Baby Sister she suddenly can’t do anything by herself. The temper tantrums are almost uncontrollable. It’s as if they rise from the bottoms of her feet and explode out of her head. I swear they’re almost physically visible before the yelling, whining, and throwing things begins. The toddler tantrum! It’s going to be the death of my sanity!
So, how did this affect my Buh Bye Baby Weight Battle? I managed to only work out once this week. I only got in 2 walks to the park. Sleep deprivation definitely won this week. Some might say I’m doing a better job of listening to my body. Some might say that I’ve grown up, matured a bit, and have learned that rest and sleep are just as important as the workout. I would simply say I’m tired. I’m old. I’m exhausted. And again, I’m not expecting to lose this weight overnight. It’s not going to be like it always was before. Before, when all I had to do was lower my carb intake and up my cardio and the weight would quickly fall off. Those days are gone. I learned that when I lost the baby weight after my first daughter. It took me a full year to lose the weight I gained with the toddler. So this week was a bust. I can’t give up now. Granted, I had chips and dip for dinner tonight and followed that with a bowl of vanilla ice cream with chocolate sauce. Yep. That’s the dinner of champions.
Today was the epitome of a bad day for an obvious mama. We’ve all had them. That day where everything just sucks. I know you’re not supposed to say that because you have the greatest, most rewarding job on earth. But can we just be open and honest for a minute? Having to change your shirt twice before noon due to puke and spit up, having puke on your bare toes, having an infant crying unless you’re holding her, having a toddler throw a tantrum the entire you’re holding her sister, having spilled milk on the couch, having bags of crackers dumped out on the floor, having guacamole fed to your dogs that don’t tolerate guacamole very well, having poopy diaper after poopy diaper after poopy diaper….the list goes on…those days just suck. That’s how Week 2 ended, with one of those days. Yeah, I didn’t win Week 2. Week 2 kicked my butt. That’s okay. I’ll start again tomorrow. I’ll still have a teething infant and a two-year old toddler. I’ll still be sleep deprived. I’ll still be old and tired and exhausted but I’ll start again.